At the beginning of 2012, I was choking down black-eyed peas and imagining a different life, one in which I was no longer a robot, but instead a person who felt feelings — big feelings, the kind that change your life and make you realize how much you are actually capable of and, even more, make you want to push yourself to create a new life.
I choked down black-eyed peas and resolved to change my life, to live with a very simple guideline: Make it happen. And then I did.
So here’s what happened. Under this banner of Doing, I changed things. It started small. Then, as things that are magic and exactly right tend to, snowballed into Everything. A few more minutes spent walking outside turned into running, which turned into a 5K which turned into a half-marathon at the end of October. A couple pounds lost, which turned into 10, then 20, then 45 total. A desire to write more turned into blog posts for Edible Seattle, which turned into a couple stories, which turned into a cover story this month, my first cover story. A contract position as a junior copywriter which turned into, just yesterday, a new full-time job as web content editor, including all the fun health insurance-y benefits.
And in the most magical and life-changing way, Make it Happen turned a casual friendship into a silly flirtation, with all the twirly butterflies, which flew into my stomach and made my head spin when the friendship became a relationship, which has morphed these last few months into a Thing, into Love. And I, the girl who learned how to feel, the former robot, find myself feeling big feelings, loveful feelings, happiness that makes my heart swell.
This year, I ate my black-eyed peas with eagerness, standing at the sink in the kitchen of the new house Will and I just moved into, together, while he unpacked boxes downstairs. I am very, extremely, and overwhelmingly thankful for the new life I live, though my head sometimes can’t keep up with all the changes. Hopefully there will be more words this year, fewer blog breaks, and many more lessons in how to love.
For now, I’ll be unearthing a home from beneath piles of boxes, exploring our new neighborhood, wrapped in the warmth of this new life I’ve been given, eyes big with looking at all the things I love.