Alternate title: New Year’s Eve
Photo by Jason Savelsberg
See that picture? That is photographic evidence of me right around midnight, probably nearing the time when I was the MOST drunk I’ve ever been in my entire life. See, right before this picture was taken, we were all dance-y dance-y la la New Year’s! And my darling friend in the kerchief was dancing with a glass of something in her hand. Her glass of something was half-full. So we had this conversation:
(Please to remember that DrunkAlida gets a little shout-y)
Her: So and So poured me some tequila!
Her: Because it’s too much tequila!
(Sidenote: At this point, somewhere in Arkansas my mother felt hungover for no apparent reason. And then her head exploded.)

Her: Help me drink it!
Me: OKAY! I WILL DO THIS FOR YOU! (drinks entire glass of tequila)

(I’m told the same thing happened 5 minutes later when Miss D walked over with a glass of rum. Oops.)

We went to Prommunism, a huge party celebrating the end of 2010 with the weirdest concept I think I’ve ever heard. But it was held at the Inscape building, a beautiful building in the international district. Plus, I would be ringing in 2011 surrounded by my friends, which is just what I wanted. AND, we’d be dancing, which was icing on the cake.

There was also drinking, obviously.

The Next Day:

Susie Lightning still had flat tires, so Betty Nebraska came and picked me up to take me to the grocery store (for black-eyed peas) and post-festivity burritos. At this point, I still hadn’t slept more than an hour and a half. While we were shopping, we had this conversation:

Me: I thought I would totally be more hungover than I am. I’m awesome!
Her: I’m really surprised! You drank a LOT.
Me: I know! Thank you for giving me that bottle of water when you did. I think it really helped.
Her: Well, I looked at Bowie and was all, “GET HER WATER NOW!”
Me: I appreciate it. Once he put that bottle of water in my hand, I cut myself off and quit drinking.
Her: (loooong silence) Um, yeah. That’s not even a little bit true.
Me: What?? No, I know I didn’t order anything else after that!
Her: That part is true. You just kind of drank everyone else’s drinks.
Me: Shut up, I did no– oh, WAIT.
After she dropped me off at home, I curled up in bed and finally fell asleep. And when I woke up at 5pm, I had the hangover to end all hangovers. My hangover had a hangover. And then on Sunday, I just had a regular hangover. And then on Monday, I only had a little tiny hangover.
I’d say it was a fairly amazing evening.
So for you, dear readers, who have been with me through one of the best and worst years of my life, I offer you the following. It’s a feature I like to call: Texts from That Night. Please still be my friends.

Roommate: Happy New Year!
Me: Haappt nww year I lone ypu so so mich!!!!!!
Roommate: Wooooh! U havin fun or typin in the dark? Love you lots!
Me: You ate so wonderfu and I lovdupy a LOT!!!!!
Me: yeah yeah yeah
Me: I love you
Roommate: You are so adorable and I’m gonna show you these texts tomorrow Squirrely Wurrly.
To Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana:
Me: I want to givr you a new years kiss!
Me: Please comw gabi out wirh is o lovr ypy ans w
Them: Haha! On our way!
Me: Happy syradaa!!!!
Me: Owen
Me: Alida is the best day!
Lirpa: Happy new year!!!
Me: I loce tou thoigj so si so micj ypu ate amazong!!!!
Lirpa: That made no sense but I love you!
Linds: Happy New Year my bestie! Love you so much!
Me: Lobe ypu so.drubj abf hsppu mew year bestiw!!!!
Me: ;hgafijv
Me: Ilpcr yputhe most ladt! Jive toy?
And to the boy I met on the stairs about 20 minutes after midnight, who gave me his business card (and might have received a quick little NYE kiss from me in return):
Me: We met on tje staris!
Him: I will talk to you soon then!
Charming, I’m sure. (Spoiler alert: I totally was.)
Happy new year again, guys. Jive toy!