Or, why you DON’T want me with you if you have to live in the hospital

My roommate: You should know Jen has already started fixing you up with a few of the doctors.

Me: Really?
Roommate: Yup. She keeps telling them about my “hot nanny roommate.” A couple of them are really cute too.
Me: Score!
Roommate: Well, kind of though. Because they are all third year residents who are super busy. So you know, they probably can’t date seriously.
Me: Wait. You’re telling me there are cute doctors who know about your hot nanny roommate BUT are too busy for serious dating?
Roommate: Yes.
Me: THAT’S THE DREAM!
Roommate: ??
Me: Well, you know. The emotionally-unavailable/unrealistic/I think Grey’s Anatomy is real life dream.

Later on . . .

Cardiologist: So we’ll need to monitor the schnectedy* every hour throughout the night.
Roommate: Okay. Will the nurse do that?
Cardi: No, we’ll probably have Adam do it.
Roommate: Oooh, good!! To me: He’s that doctor Jen wanted to set you up with today!
Cardi: You’re in luck then!
Me: But I’ll be sleeping when he’s here guys.
Cardi: He’s pretty good looking. You might want to stay awake.
Roommate: Or you can just see him tomorrow.
Cardi: Good plan.
Me: OR I WILL SLEEP PANTSLESS!!
And finally:

Roommate: I’m glad you’re here.
Me: I’m glad YOU’RE here!
Roommate: ???
Me: Cute doctors! Grey’s becoming real life! Potential making out!
Roommate: Wow.
Me: Perspective, lady. You know how some guys will borrow the child of friends to pick up women?
Roommate: Yeah?
Me: You are like my borrowed baby. YOU ARE MY CONVENIENT CANCER PATIENT!
Roommate: Hahahahahahahahaha!!
Me: Please still be my friend.

Her surgeries are happening today; send good thoughts that everything will go well and she’ll start to feel much better!
*Schnectedy: The word I use when I can’t remember the real word.
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