Once upon a time…

…I had just started going on dates with a boy. Like, seriously, we’d been on two or three dates so far. And then one day, I was at work and needed to talk to my friend Erin Dean over gchat. So I sent her a quick message. This is what that message said:
Me: Hi love of my life! VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION: I’m considering bangs. Who gave you your super cute haircut that time? Also, I love you LOTS!
Imagine my HUMILIATION when I received a response to my message and that response was NOT from Erin Dean. Nay, that response was from the boy with whom I’d been on 2-3 *casual* dates. This is what his message said:
Him: !?!
Then I said this:
Me: Holy shit.
(This happened nearly 3 years ago. But I remembered it this morning and giggled.)
Once upon a time…
…I had a new friend named Keridwyn and we were planning our first friend date.
Me: I’m thrilled for our first date!
K: Me too!
K: Episode 1: Grilled Cheese.
Me: Hee. Pilot Episode!
K: It may be different from the rest of the series but it will establish character and be full of laughs.
Me: Exactly. And just wait until we are nine episodes in!
K: What then?
Me: CLIP SHOW!
K: Hahahahaha. The lazy show.
Me: Love it.
(We are now three seasons into our friendship and will not be cancelled any time soon.)
Once upon a time…
…I lived with a boy named Paul. And he was a lovely roommate. And I was the messy one. And one day this happened:
Paul: (going through the cupboards) ALIDA!
Me: What??
Paul: (shakes a box at me) This box of cornflakes is EMPTY!
Me: I know!
Paul: THEN WHY ISN’T IT IN THE RECYCLING?
Me: Because I will forget to add it to the list! And I need milk!
Paul: That makes no sense. There is absolutely zero logic in what you just said. And you have milk in the fridge.
Me: No I don’t.
Paul: Yes you do! I’m looking at it right now. It’s right he–(breaking off as he picks up the empty carton out of the fridge) Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.
Me: (smiling charmingly and slightly sheepishly)
Paul: THIS IS EMPTY TOO!
Me: I know! Isn’t that ridiculous??
Paul: YOU ARE LIKE A 13 YEAR OLD BOY.
I think he misses living with me.
This has been a glimpse of what it’s like to know me in real life. You’re welcome.
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