“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
I’m on an airplane at this very as-we-speak. Like, in the air, flying, AND using the Internet. Hello, Brave New World. I’m so glad you include Facebook on an airplane. I am loveful to you.
The week at home is officially over, although my new life in Seattle hasn’t technically started yet. I’m literally suspended in midair right now, leaving comfort behind and heading toward a big fat question mark. In honor of this transitional airplane ride, I’ve been listening to the Dixie Chicks “Wide Open Spaces” on repeat. It seems fitting. And although I’m not going to college or leaving home for the first time, I am getting ready to face a new season in my life, a season of ‘me’ instead of ‘we’, where I make plans for myself, by myself.
Oh, Plans. The thing about those guys is that they change. I’d planned a life with the person I love, a future I looked forward to, a future I couldn’t wait to make with him. And then it was gone and I didn’t have any say in it and it was awful. But I realized, even in my sadness, there was a choice for me to make. I could cling to the promises we’d made, put my life on hold and wait and hope for him to change his mind. Or I could choose to go forward, making new plans, finding new dreams, and being brave and bold by myself.
This my choice, my decision. I didn’t choose this new path but I will decide what happens next. And I’ve made my plans. I am daring to believe in the power and possibility of the Let’s Just See.
Let’s just see what happens when I nurture my friendships.
Let’s just see what happens when I figure out what it really means to love myself, honestly and wholly, forgiving myself for the cruel things I tell myself daily.
Let’s just see what happens when I build myself up instead of tearing myself down.
Let’s just see . . . anything I want.
I think I’m ready. A little scared, maybe, but ready. I’ve been bold, in the past. I’ve been brave. I know I have gumption somewhere inside; I’ve just misplaced it. I am capable of great strength, amazing courage, and the kind of love that makes you dizzy. The life waiting for me is going to be indescribably wonderful.
It’s time, guys. I’ve allowed myself plenty of room to feel my sadness, to grieve the loss of something pretty special. And that was good and I’ll probably need to have more moments of quiet as I work to heal. But now it’s time to take action, hit the ground running (hello Kelly Clarkson phase!!!), and dare to believe great things are coming.
Let’s just see what happens when I put my broken heart back together.
Let’s just see what happens when I am open to life.
Let’s just see what happens when I am open to love.
Let’s just see.