Up in the sky!

Word problem for you, kiddies: A roommate and a Toommate leave Arlington at 9:45a.m. on Sunday morning, heading southwest toward Granbury in a bruised and battered Tercel with kick-ass license plates. A sister and her friend leave Waco at 1:00p.m. heading north toward Granbury in a much nicer white Civic. Meanwhile, a mom decides to wear all pink and go two rounds at a festival. Two Labsbians knock a huge hole in one wall of a house and shatter the safety glass of the front door. Please find the answers to the following:
1) How much will each woman eat at the festival?
2) Why does the sister drive a much nicer car?
3) How on earth did the Labsbians cause so much destruction?

Don’t forget to figure out the square root of Kettle Korn. Please leave your answers in the form of comments. The winner will (SERIOUSLY) receive a prize in the mail.

So a festival? Nope, not just any festival. The Wonder that is the Harvest Moon Festival! That’s right! It is the second annual blogging of the Harvest Moon Festival. Smoked Turkey Leg, Wooden Stuff, Kettle Korn, Granbury Hair, and (new this year!) a fake map!

Fake map? Why yes. Saturday night Toommate and I went to Steak and Shake* for midnight milkshakes. Actually, Toommate had a midnight egg breakfast and brownie sundae and I had a hot fudge sundae, but still. Midnight all the same. We went equipped with Toommate’s markers, as Steak and Shake isn’t known for speedy or attentive service. Whilst there, I drew a map of the Harvest Moon Festival. Was I just that bored? Or did I have a more diabolical scheme in mind. (If you really don’t know the answer to that question, you do not know me at all. Get thee gone to the archives!)

You see, my sister is fabulous. Part of what makes Ceci fabulous is her COMPLETE LACK OF SHAME. For example: once, we were driving to Grump’s** hamburgers in Granbury. Being a naturally curious gal (and 9 years old, apparently), I started digging through the back seat pocket of my mom’s seat. I found an individually wrapped spork. Please observe the situation as it went down:

Me: Oooh! An individually wrapped spork!!
Ceci: Neat.
Me: I dare you to take this in to the restaurant and ask our waitress for a spork. Then, if she says she doesn’t have one, you can say, “Good thing I brought my own!”
Ceci: What’ll you give me?
Me: A dollar.
Ceci: Cool.

So in we went. Our waitress finally brings our burgers and Ceci, cool as anything, says:

Ceci: Excuse me. Do you have a spork?
Waitress: A what?
Ceci: Spork. Part spoon, part fork?
Waitress: (Blank stare) No. . .I don’t think so. . .
Ceci: (whips spork from her pocket) Whew! Good thing I brought my own!
Inner dialogue of Waitress: Oh look. . .they let the little retarded girl*** come to the restaurant.

It’s fun when we do stuff like that. Three things always happen:
1) Ceci wins money.
2) I laugh about it for months (seriously. Had to stop typing 3 times because I was laughing again).
3) Mom pretends she has no daughters.

So back to the Harvest Moon and the Map.

As soon as we got in Mom’s car to head to the Festival (festival!), I showed Ceci the map and gave her the mission. In order to win $2 (yes, $2), she had to approach 2 vendors and try to use the map to ask where something was. Ceci, being the bad-ass she is, agreed. Please join me as we watch the scene unfold:

Ceci approaches a man working the Sausage on a Stick booth. She opens the map. She looks confused. And. . . ACTION!

Ceci: Excuse me. May I please have some roasted corn?
Sausage on a Stick Vendor: I’m sorry. We don’t have roasted corn.
Ceci: (looking thoroughly confused) Wait. You don’t? Hold on a sec. (Holds up map) Yeah, are you sure? Because my map here says that this is where the roasted corn is. See? (Holds map in his face). But you don’t have it?
Sausage on a Stick Vendor: (peruses map) Yeah, I see that on your map. But no, I don’t have the corn. It is three booths down.
Ceci: Maybe this is the wrong map? Is it the 2004 Harvest Moon Festival Map?
Sausage on a Stick Vendor: (considers this seriously) Yeah, it might be. See right there where it shows Sand Art? Sand Art is all the way on the other side of the Square. I think this is the wrong map.
Ceci: (Looks very concerned) I don’t know how this happened! Are you sure? Because see? There is the Gazebo right there, drawn in purple marker. See that? Drawn in marker?
Sausage on a Stick Vendor: Yeah, positive. See? There’s the Gazebo and they have Wooden Stuff over there. But you have the corn and the picture frames in the wrong place.
Ceci: (sad) Well. Thanks anyway, I guess.

And. . .scene.

It was the funniest. Thing. Ever. That poor man really did try to help her out. This is why we shouldn’t be allowed out. Ever.

The second girl Ceci approached just laughed warily, as in, “Please don’t stand too close to me, retarded girl.”

Good times. We also ate so much. Toommate enjoyed a corn dog, a frito pie, some potato swirls, bites of funnel cake, part of an orange slushie, lemonade, and Kettle Korn. I had two ears of roasted corn, lots of bites of potato swirls, bites of funnel cake, lemonade, and Kettle Korn. Mom enjoyed a wrap, some potato swirls, two ears of roasted corn, funnel cake, lemonade, and a shish kabob. Ceci and Laura lost the food race because they split a wrap. Splitting anything at all makes you a Pansy of the Festival.

I did not buy any Wooden Stuff this year. Sorry to disappoint.

So there you have it. Harvest Moon Hijinks! Way fun.

Also this past weekend: saw Wicked! with some of the Group. Pictures can be found at public.fotki.com/booyahgirl

Remember! Winner of the word problem really does win a prize! Submit those entries ASAP!

*The author does not in any way endorse the patronage of Steak and Shake, especially if patrons have short fuses or a very small amount of patience. Steak and Shake is not for the consumer in a hurry. In fact, Steak and Shake is really not for anyone except those with NOTHING BETTER TO DO. Enter: Toommate and me.

**The author does, however, definitely endorse Grumps. Good stuff, that. And peanuts!

***Please do not be offended. Years ago, when Ceci was in 9th grade and in drill team, a woman on the town Square was overheard saying, “Oh look! They let the little retarded girl ride on the drill team float! That’s sweet!” Yeah. She was pointing at my sister.